Well here I am on the 4th January 2013 and I have managed to complete 6 things off my 101 list and have 12 marked as work in progress (WIP). Admittedly they were all fairly simple ones, create a blog, find 101 things for the list, create a day zero account, (well you have to start with something), a couple of crafting projects and inspiring someone to join 101, and honestly there was no pressure, tracey84 saw a Facebook post of mine that a few friends had ‘liked’ (they are DZ101ers as well) and the next thing I know she had posted her list.
Anyway, I printed of my list this morning to have a hard copy and realised that some of my tasks were a little bit undefined and ambiguous, and as one of my tasks is to put £2 in a jar every time I complete one, I had to think, can I afford to finish 60 tasks all at the same time, the short answer is No, I am a stay at home Mum running a small consultancy business and my income is only a few hundred a month, so forking out £120 in one go is not going to work for me. So some changes needed to be made – I have not changed the actual tasks, just put timescales/limits on to them, or reworded them to make them less sketchy.
Now some of the things on my list may seem quite everyday or simple, they are however things I want to do, tasks that will motivate me and inspire me. 12 months ago I did not want to get out of bed – my husband had been diagnosed with skin cancer, I was in the middle of accountancy exams, and was also dealing with social services and an ongoing court case (a story for another day), and while all this was going on I was also trying to be the perfect wife, daughter, daughter in law, friend and mother and life was just too much to deal with. I felt that I had lost my essence, and no matter how hard I tried I could not find who I was anymore. It probably sounds a bit drastic but I felt that all my dreams had been pushed aside by becoming a wife and mother. The truth of the matter is, I was just very tired and juggling a lot of balls – finances, emotions, stress, and did not want to put a foot out of place for fear of jeopardizing the court case. Now before I move on to jollier things – my husband had successful surgery/treatment and he is now ok, I passed my exams and the court case was decided in our favour (September 2012).
The court case was a turning point for me and when our little boy C started pre-school in September, I would have 15 hours free time, so I made a conscious decision to get off my butt and do something, my life could not just be about C or darling hubby J, I had to be in there somewhere. Someone once told me that “happiness is a state of mind, It’s not something you find outside, but inside yourself”, and you know what, it was time to count my blessings and realise how lucky I am. So overcoming my fears (can I walk into a room of near strangers, am I up to this, do I have any skills that could be useful) and after changing my mind back and forth several times I joined the fund raising committee for C’s preschool. Phew! That was scary, but you know what, it sparked something in me and reminded me of the go get it girl I used to be.
In December I read about the day zero project on friends blog and thought, hell yeah, I’ll give that a go, I love lists and I love challenges, and achievement is a great way to stay positive and I have decided that staying positive is the way to go.
A lot of things have happened since September. Through making an effort I have expanded my group of friends, I have found new activities that I want to do, I have made decisions that favour me and most importantly I feel like ‘I am back’, I am no longer just J’s wife or C’s Mum – I am Sharon, ready to drag my bum out of bed, create and face new challenges and ‘get a life’ – I am happier than I have been in a while and feel full of energy and optimism.
(Note to self: it may be the caffeine, add give up caffeine to your next 101 list)
OK what happened there, I planned on writing about my Day Zero completed tasks and WIP, and I kind of got lost in the story of why and have gone off on a tangent. My friends know how easily distracted I can be and I guess that extends to my writing. Well I guess my Day Zero done and WIP update will have to wait for another day.
If you are DZ101er, a blogger, or just interested come and ‘like’ my social page on Facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/SharonsSocialPortal